A Dark Knight (in meditation) – from “Zen and My Friends”

Where is GOD in all of this?
I sit here, in this lonely despair.
Searching for answers to these age-old questions.
I’ve been blessed with my own “dark night of the soul”.
But will this “night” ever end?
This constant battle between my shadow and me.
Oh, how we’ve gotten to know each other lately.
And in these moments, it’s painfully unclear.
Am I doing okay?
Am I doing the work?
Have I learned from my mistakes?
Am I strong enough?
Have these discoveries changed me?
Will I be okay in the end?
I’m surely pushing the limits of this time and space.
And discovering my motivation at every turn.
Isolated, but focused.
Scared to death, yet I’ve never felt so alive.