In Dreams – from “Zen and My Friends”

Trying to distinguish between friends and foe.
Trying to be here now, for you.
It’s as hard as they say.
And not for the faint of heart.
This thud in my chest, a constant reminder.
These awkward moments of awakening.
Encountering things, I cannot yet explain.

In my dreams, I live a hundred lives.
Going through these phases;
of exceptional enlightenment,
of knowing and confidence,
of love and gratitude.
And just like that…
of fear and despair,
of confusion and regret,
of shame and guilt.

Once I dreamed I was a character; my conscious mind, a vast connected enigma, took shelter in this body.
And now, I’m having trouble differentiating between these worlds.
I don’t recognize that man in the mirror at times,
a child’s heart,
a wild mind,
a lost soul,
a wandering eye,
a ravenous spirit,
a renaissance man underneath it all.

Suspicious energy surrounds me now.
And I’m recklessly tempting fate through this unveiling.
I recognize now, that time, our only nonrenewable resource, can be manipulated.
That we hold the power to resolve our problems,
to heal our suffering,
to manifest positive change.
If only we can step outside of this fear.